Any gal of mine shouldn't be complainin',
If I got a great big beer gut hangin'

I could walk around like a big dumb ape,

But you better be in shape.

And if our date's at seven, and I show up at eight;

Don't you say one word 'cos you know,
If I'd been there on time,
You'd've never been ready anyway.

Any gal of mine, well, she better not mind.
If I have my big, smelly, beer-belly buddies over all of the time.

I need a gal who knows, how the lawn gets mowed.

She's gotta be the good-lookin', great-cookin',

Never ever buggin' me kind.
Any gal of mine.

Should I wear the camouflage cap or the John Deere cap?

"Well, I don't know, they're both so damn sexy."
I know it.

Any gal of mine better plainly see,
That Brad Pitt can't hold a candle to me.

(Yeah, that's right.)

If my hair's gettin' thinner than it used to be,
You better say it looks good on me.

And if our date's at seven, and I get there at eight;

Don't you say one word 'cos you know,
If I'd been there on time,
You'd've never been ready anyway.

Any gal.

Any gal.


Pull my finger.

Any gal of mine, better tell me I'm fine.

Better be the Vikings Twins or Timberwolves  watchin' kind.

I need a gal who knows, how the lawn gets mowed.

She's gotta be my jaw-flappin' knee-slappin',

Heart thumpin', fun-lovin' kind.
Any gal of mine.

Say, Hon, grab me a cold one.

Gut them fish,

How 'bout a big kiss?

Cook, clean, wash the blue jeans.

Shake a leg,
Tap another keg.

You missed a spot on the toilet, dear.

Did you 'member to pick up my beer?

Hey, is my lunch all packed?

Man them Baywatch girls can act.

Yeah, this is what a fella wants.